Signs You're Feeling 'Stuck' in Life—and Helpful Ways to Break Through It

As the band U2 once said, “You've got to get yourself together. You've got stuck in a moment. And now you can't get out of it.” Although they make for catchy lyrics, feeling stuck is a very real, and very frustrating, feeling for many. At some point in your life you may have thought, “I just feel so stuck right now.” In fact, feeling “stuck” is a common experience that many people bring up to their therapist, or that they share when they’re talking about their mental health in general.

Last year, Gallup released its State of the Global Workplace: 2023 Report, which found that a whopping 85% of respondents were currently feeling disengaged, or stuck in their careers. Apart from work, you may have found yourself feeling stuck when it comes to a relationship, the place where you live, or a responsibility you’d rather not have. 

What Does It Mean to Feel Stuck in Life?

As licensed clinical psychologist Thai Alonso, PhD, says, feeling stuck can mean different things for different people. When a client describes themselves as feeling stuck, Alonso always asks them what exactly they mean and what it feels like for them specifically. She’s discovered that for some, feeling stuck means they feel conflicted between two choices or situations, and it can be very anxiety-driven. For others, feeling stuck might reflect the experience of making efforts and seeing little to no progress. Someone may want to “get better,” yet find themselves struggling with the same things, be they behavioral patterns or external obstacles, again and again. 

In her experience, she says that, at times, the feeling of “stuckness” can come from either not knowing how to bring about the change one wants, or from using ineffective methods. But in general, feeling stuck can be defined as frustration with being trapped—or a perception of being trapped—in a particular feeling state for too long, Alonso explains. In her practice, she often hears statements like, “This is my situation. I don’t like it. I want to change it, but I don’t know how. Please help me figure this out.”

A Few Common Signs of Feeling Stuck

If this sounds like you, you may want to get down to the bottom of the common clues of this inert state of mind. Alonso outlines some telltale signs of feeling stuck in life: 

• Experiencing prolonged discomfort or distress and wanting to change these feelings.
• Trying different strategies and continuing to grapple with the same problems.
• Saying that you want to change a behavior (e.g., procrastination, overspending, nail biting) but you continue to engage in that behavior.

Alonso says that lengthy periods of “stuckness” can cause people to feel defeated, helpless, and hopeless. 

Is Feeling Stuck a Sign of Something More?

What exactly can feeling stuck mean in the bigger picture? Is it trying to tell you something about your current situation? Is it possibly a symptom of another mental health struggle?

“We all feel stuck sometimes. It’s the experience of being persistently stuck that is most unsettling,” Alonso says. “While feeling stuck doesn’t necessarily indicate that someone has a mental health disorder, it can over time, in addition to other things, contribute to poorer mood, lower self-esteem, and relationship difficulties, among other things.”

In other words, feeling stuck is a state of mind you likely won’t want to stay in for long for your personal well-being, now and in the future.

How to Work Through Feeling Stuck in Life

Luckily, like most other feelings and emotions, this one can, and will, pass, especially if you seek out help to guide you through. And there are ways to help it move along so you can get into a better place, whether that’s toward progress or simply being content with where you are.

Alonso says getting to a place of feeling unstuck is a deeply personal experience, since the way out can differ between people and their unique situations. However, she does provide some general, actionable tips that may help someone dig out of that stuck frame of mind. According to Alonso, here are some general solution strategies that can help: 

Do some thoughtful self-reflection.

Gain insights about internal conflicts that may be perpetuating this “stuckness.” Spend some time with yourself, get quiet, and get down to the bottom of why you’re feeling stuck. Is it work-related, relationship-related, or linked to some internal behaviors or beliefs?

Make miniscule changes.

Strive to work toward progress instead of perfection—change happens in small increments and over the course of time. In order for things to be different, you need to do something different! But again, start with the small and achievable things. Is there a way you can shakeup your routine slightly, start a new hobby, or join a group? Can you take the tiniest, most bite-size step toward a larger goal that feels overwhelming? Can you make a list of potential action plans, solutions, or next steps? Can you reach out to a friend who can help you talk things through and provide comfort and/or advice?

Return to your core values.

Identify and align with your personal values. If that’s something that’s not clear for you, it’s time to make space for some intentional introspection again. What is it that matters to you most? Is what you’re doing currently at odds with your values, steering away from your values, or making you question them? 

Practice accepting where you are right now.

When appropriate, practice acceptance. It is OK—and a normal part of life—not to be pushing the needle, progressing, changing, or producing all the time. Remember that life is a series of phases and that things come in waves—and also that you might be making more progress or changes than you realize! And stop yourself from comparing yourself to other people’s life paths or paces. This is a common trap that can cause, exacerbate, or come from feeling stuck.

Talk to a mental health pro.

Enlist the help of a mental health professional to help you see through the murkiness and eventually achieve an “unstuck” state of mind. Therapists and counselors deal with folks who feel stuck in different ways all the time—it’s an incredibly common experience that they’re trained to help you identify, understand, talk about, and work through in realistic steps that make sense for your circumstances. And sometimes simply explaining your situation out loud to an objective listener lets you see your own experience in a new light and feel more empowered to make moves. It’s important not to let that stuck feeling stick around long enough that your mental health starts to suffer. Seek guidance proactively for the best chance at breaking through feeling stuck more quickly.